The question of if a woman is someone who is the one for you is actually something that lingers in the minds of so many men who are genuinely searching for lasting connections. Deep, meaningful connections. And in a world that is right now filled with so many surface-level connections, situations, dating apps, where we are spoiled for choices, the question of actually finding the one becomes so much more paralyzing, and we kind of doubt if, you know, it’s even realistic to find someone.
You might have a lot of options, but there is no other time in history that existed where finding a partner was the most difficult thing. And some men are waiting for the one like a myth, where some men try to mold every single woman they meet into the one. But what if the real question is not just about actually finding her? What if the real question is about becoming someone who is capable of attracting a woman like that?
Most of the times, when you are actually looking for someone, when you are trying so hard to find a relationship, that is where people actually do not find someone. And most of the times I have heard, I have even seen people experiencing it, the moment they are truly happy with being single is actually the best time that, you know, someone magically just appears in their life and they end up being in a relationship. And for some of them, I don’t even help God in getting married in this whole process. So, what if it’s actually about becoming a man who is ready to receive a worthy woman into his life?
So, if you’re new here, I’m Akash, and I’m a men’s relationship coach, and I help men overcome their traumas, attachment issues, and lost masculinity in order for them to pursue meaningful connections with women. So, in today’s article, I’m going to discuss about the five signs that she might actually be the one, and also how to know if you’re actually ready to be in a serious, committed relationship. So let’s get started.
Sign 1: You Are Not Looking to Be Saved or Fixed
Sign number one is you’re not looking to be saved or fixed in a relationship. A lot of men are actually seeking a partner, seeking for a girlfriend with the hope of actually filling a void inside them. They’re not ready to face the cold side of the bed. They’re not ready to face the kind of loneliness that comes with being alone.
And they just want someone in their life who can actually make them feel whole, make them feel complete. But this is a trap. When you’re in this kind of mentality where you just want someone, you’re going to project your desires onto a woman, even if she’s not worthy of being your partner or even if she’s not worthy of being your girlfriend.
This is why a lot of men actually end up breaking their heart because they do not see the real personality of a woman. They actually end up projecting their desires onto a woman and they don’t even see or notice the red flags that she may be showing him in the beginning of the relationship.
So before you ask yourself, is she the one? Ask yourself, am I the one? Am I grounded within myself? Am I seeking a relationship to fill a void within me? If so, how can I complete myself? How can I pour that love into myself? How can I become whole as a man? Because it is only when you feel emotionally stable that is when you attract a partner who is emotionally stable as well.
If you have underlying anxiety, trauma, things like that, you are going to attract someone who is going to mirror this deep psychological void to you, and then you are going to go on a journey of fixing yourself. But why go through so much pain if you can actually work on yourself, resolve that emptiness within you, resolve that void within you?
So, you are not seeking someone to complete you, but instead you are seeking someone who is ready to complement you and who is ready to add value into your life. And for this to happen, you also have to see yourself as someone who is valuable, someone who has a high self-esteem, who is confident in himself. Usually, men who are not confident in themselves are the ones who are chasing female validation and who are desperately trying to get into a relationship with someone.
Sign 2: You Are Not Trying to Fix Her
Sign number two is you’re not in a fixing mentality. You’re not even trying to change her. Let’s be honest about this. This is the biggest mistake I see men making. They get into a relationship with the hope that, oh, maybe I can save her. Maybe I can save her from her childhood trauma. Maybe I can fix her. Maybe I can show her that love is safe.
You are not on an assignment here to actually fix someone. You are not getting into a relationship to do any kind of fixing. You are here so that you can add value into her life, but not build her entire life. Because if you go into this business of fixing a woman, these are the cases where the woman shows up in your life and ends up hurting you.
Because you did not have any boundaries. You did not know what the red flags are. And you actually completely ignore them with the mentality that you can save them and you can show her what love truly means. But after a few months of being in this kind of relationship, you’ll be the one who ends up getting hurt, and you’ll be thinking things like:
“I wish she was more affectionate. I wish she was more emotionally available toward me. I wish she cared for me the same way I care for her.” But the foundation of the relationship itself was wrong. So, if you’re showing up with the mentality of changing everyone and fixing everyone, that relationship is actually going down the drain, and you’re going to hurt yourself in the process.
Sign 3: She Is Not Trying to Fix You
Sign number three that you’ve found the one is that she’s not even trying to change you or fix you. Now, just like how some men have the tendency to fix women, there are also women with nice-girl habits who have the mentality to change you or fix you. In a way, she can also be operating from her masculine energy where she is trying to control you. And this comes due to her unconscious traumas, which she may not even be aware of. It’s a good thing to be with a woman who challenges you, who pushes you to be better.
But is she pushing you with the thought process that she wants you to become a better man? Or is she pushing you with the thought process that she wants to mold you into something that she wants for herself? Because that is a very selfish desire. Now that’s the main difference between control and alignment from a woman.
When she is trying to control you, when she is trying to not give you the freedom to live your life the way you want to live, that is when she is trying to change you into the man that she wants in her life. But if she is encouraging you to pursue your goals, your passion, your ambition, she is encouraging you to have a life of your own without her being overly emotionally dependent on you, that is a sign of a very emotionally intelligent woman that you want to keep by your side. But if you are constantly being pressured or controlled into becoming someone you are not, that is not partnership. That is purely performance in relationships.
Sign 4: You Can Be Fully Honest With Her
Sign number four that you have found the one is that you can be fully honest with her without having any secrets. And this is a very powerful one. You are not hiding yourself. You are not hiding your past. You are not hiding the vision that you have for your future. You are not even hiding anything that you are doing in the present moment with the fear that, “Oh, how would she react to this if I tell her?”
You are not fearing any kind of emotional reaction from her because it’s only with women who react in a very unpredictable manner that men tend to hide things. But if she is creating a safe space for you to actually be vulnerable, open up about your emotions, that is a sign of a very emotionally intelligent woman. Real love doesn’t need perfection, but it operates from a place of integrity.
Sign 5: The Relationship Is Not a Competition
Fifth sign that you’ve found the one is knowing that the relationship is not a competition. A right person is not going to push you to compete with her. Instead, she is going to invite you into collaboration. A healthy relationship is not about, who earns more, who has more friends, who is better. That’s all ego.
A healthy relationship is about partnership, growth, and mutual respect. So, it’s not just about finding the one. How do you know if someone is the one for you? When you know that you are also ready to be the person to show up in a relationship. Because trust me, when you work on yourself, when you heal yourself, you will naturally attract a woman who is also healed.
Two people who are on the same frequency always end up attracting each other. So, it all starts from you, your truth, your integrity, your wholeness. Because when you are whole, you are not projecting anything onto a woman. You are actually seeing her for who she is. And from there, you can make a better decision.
So, I hope this article was insightful. I hope now you will be able to find who is correct one for you and whether you are ready to go in a serious relationship. If anything is still unclear, feel free to ask those doubts in the comment section. I will try to answer you as soon as possible. Thank you so much for reading this article till the end and I will see you guys soon in the next upcoming article. Thank you!