Let’s be honest. If you’ve been the nice Guy Who Has Been Friend Zoned, Ignored Or Even Overlook by the Woman You Like? And If You Found Her Going After Someone Who Isn’t So Good For Her The So Called Bad Boy Who Is Emotionally Unavailable and If You Found Asking Yourself the Question, Why Do Women Actually End Up Going After Men Who Treat them badly? Even wondering why do Women Actually Go After Someone Who Doesn’t Care for them and who does not treat them Well?
This is something I want to unpack in Today’s article. And the whole purpose of this The article is from Not to Blame Anyone. It Just for you to understand what are the Emotional Patterns The Attachment Styles That Go Into Play. That Causes Deep Emotional Woes To Even Un travel in the Process of a Woman Going after someone who is not great for her. So, if you’re new here, I’m Akash and I I’m a Men’s Relationship Coach and I Help Men Hill There Attachment Issues, Traumas and There Wounded Masculinity in Order for Them to Pursue Meaningful Connections with Women.
Why Women Get Attracted to Bad Boys??
So, firstly Let’s Talk About the Real Reason Why Women Get Attracted to the Bad Boys. Now This Is A myth that I actually want to break. Bad Boy Is Not Someone Who Comes Wearing a Rebel Red Color Jacket Having Devil Horns. Of course, he is just someone who is emotionally Unavailable, Hot and Cold, and Someone She Can I can’t predict how he would behave. And this Is There Something That Gives a Woo Woman Enough to Keep Her Emotionally Hooked But Not the Kind of Safety that would actually allow her to fall in Love with the man himself.
So, why does this Happen to some women? It has all to do with How She Was Brought Up in Her Childhood. While Growing Up If Love Was Not Consistent for Her. If She Didn’t Get the Consistent care from her parents. She Basically Equates Love With Something That Has To be awful. She probably even equals love. With a sense of anxiety.
Now think about it. It’s This Way: When a Girl Child Is Actually Growing Up in a Household Way She is not getting love, she would do anything to Get suffocation from her parents. Parents are supposed to be first Attachment. The First People on This Earth Who are supposed to show us consistent love and Care. But if we’re not getting that from Our Parents. What Happens to Us. We Do Not Have a Secure Attachment That We Can form even as an adult as well. And on the The Flip Side, Let’s Say You Come Into Being Extremely Nice, Over Giving, Over Extending for Her. She Is Not Going to Be Able to Take That in Because Unconsciously She equates love with anxiety. Love with inconsistency because that’s how she Is Being Grown Up.
And When She Meets a Guys who play hot and cold with every. nervous system, your unconscious brain actually detects something that is Familiar. It’s a familiar pattern from a Childhood. Familiarity doesn’t mean that it is. Good for Her But She Doesn’t Know That Herself. In a way, every nervous system is getting fired up and she is equating the red flag, the Instability, the inconsistency with butterflies In the connection. This is why a lot of Women Actually Get Attracted to the So Called emotionally unavailable bad boy.
Emotional Unavailability Becomes a Puzzle
The second The Reason Why This Happens Is Emotional Availability actually becomes a puzzle that she wants to solve it. Now I have even heard a Lot of Guys in the Comment Section Saying Date Hey, when I behave coldly with someone she Gets attracted to me but when I am Nice to Her She Does Not Get Attracted to Me. This is a sign that she has trauma with In Her and Emotionally Mature Woman Would Never Never Tolerate Inconsistent Behavior With You
The fact you also feel the necessity to play Such games with someone is a sign that you You might also have some attachment issues that you need to even work on. The more distant and Emotionally Unavailable A Man Is The More Her In Child Actually Feels That If I Can Make This Man I Love Will Finally Be in My Life Feel that I am enough and I am worth it. This is the thought process that goes in every brain When She Is Actually Unconsciously Going Of the Man Who Are Not Great for Her Mental health or even her nervous system.
And this Offen Leads to a Dynamic Where She Tries to over analyze the connection. She tries to Prove Yourself to the Other Person in a Way Rolls kind of reverse. So, what you go Through, As a Nice Guy Is What She Ends Up Going Through With the Toxic Man in the Vary First Place and This Is a Very Painful situation to even be it.
And it’s not that She loves being mistreated. She is emotionally Addicted to the highs and lows of the Relationship. Just as you, as a nice guy could be. Actually Also Be Addicted to the Emotional The Highs and Lows When a Woman Is Not Fully Showing up for you. So, this is not just a Mere gender-based thing. It’s about the Psychological Woods and the Attachment Style That you have developed as a child.
When a Traumatized Woman Meets a Nice Man?
Now the The third thing I want to speak about is What Happens When a Traumatized Woman is actually chased by a man who is nice For Her. The Moment She Actually Meets a Guy Who Is Emotionally Available Nice End Consistent with Her Because She Has Unresolved There’s something inside her. She doesn’t know what to do. with this kind of safety. Because this is Not a script that she is familiar with.
She might say things like he is too nice. It’s kind of boring. I don’t feel that Kind of excitement because unconsciously She relates that excitement that his and loses with emotional inconsistency. But she herself doesn’t know that she has this wish Inside Her Because of Which She Keeps repeating it over and over again. It’s not a Logical Explanation But This Is Just Conditioning.
And she also has to hit her breaking point at a stage when she Realizes OK I Can’t Keep Giving Myself to Emotionally Unavailable Men and Its When she hits that breaking stage she Will Actually Finally Learn to Work On Herself and Resolve Her Traumas and Her Psychological reasons to.
Why “Bad Boys” Get Chased Without Trying?
Now the fourth thing. I want to talk about how the bad boy is gets chased even without trying. So, the The Reason Why Bad Boys Gets Changed Is Because the emotional unpredictability they Bring into the connection activates her passionate attachment. In a way of being with Holds attachment, with holds affection From Her Depending on How She Is behaving. And this causes her to actually Trying Too Hard to Win Him Over Because in a Way She Is Reminded of Her Connection That She Had with Her Parents Where She Had to Perform as a child to win their approval.
When He Doesn’t Prioritize Her She Kind of ends up thinking that she has to earn Work Hard for His Love and When He actually keeps her in a state of Confusion She Basically Goes and Loops and Spirals and Triggers a Nervous System Again and again until she reaches her breaking point Point. And these are things which is so Health Tips: When a woman is under 6 months of age, she may need to be a doctor. Woman is stuck in a toxic relationship, When a woman is actually going through a Relationships and Connections with Someone Who Is Not Good for her, it starts affecting her Physical health in so many ways.
It starts affecting her hormones. She gets Hormonal imbalance. She starts losing Her hair. It starts affecting her gut Health. It starts affecting her skin. The Detriment and Traumatized Women She actually goes through until she realizes what she What is doing to oneself? Is to be honest? Very sad thing.
How a Conscious Woman Loves Differently?
Now the next thing I want to talk about is how a conscious Women Actually Love Differently. Now a Conscious Woman is Someone Who Has Identified every pattern worked on Herself, has a good amount of self-love, Self-Esteem, Has Healthy Boundaries for Herself. And has the discernment to Actually Identify If Every Connection Is Good For her or not.
She is not someone who will get Pulled into being with a nice guy because she I don’t feel safe around him. And she isn’t. someone who is going to end up even with a bad Guy because she doesn’t feel safe around him Well. A Conscious Woman Needs a Conscious Man. Someone who is not into people placing Habits and Someone Who Is Not Emotionally Unavailable as well. And because she has done the Inner Work, She Knows to Identify These Patterns with in other man. And the percentage Of Conscious Women Probably Existing In this world is very very low. But one The thing I have to notice is when you work on Yourself as a man and you heal your inner self Traumas You Will Naturally Also Be Vary Be selective and you would not get attracted To the Wrong Kind of Woman.
This is the Same Process that happens even at her end well. So, it’s usually you attract someone into Your Life Based on the Same Level of Emotional and the Psychological Wounds That You Both Are Caring within yourself. She is not someone. Who Falls for Emotional Confusion and She Has Very Strong Boundaries and She Knows How To Walk Away in Her Power and Gracefully.
Here are some ways a conscious woo ween Actually shows up she feels safe in her body. She is whole with in herself and she is Completely okay. Even if she has someone with her. And even if she doesn’t have someone, in a way, her Worth is not dependent on any man Actually Providing Her Any Kind Of Safety.
She is emotionally available. But only For Someone Who Meets Her with Respect and Someone who does not perform to earn her love. She Is someone who values clear communication? Over games. She’s not someone who is going to keep you guessing what she is going to Communicate Her Needs, Her Boundaries Clearly to you. She doesn’t chase men, huh? Pull Away Instinct She Steps Back Gracefully because she knows she deserves Better than that. And she has also learned her Lesson the Hard Way That Love Is Not Something That You need to earn. And love is not something That brings emotional suffering.
In short, She Does Not Confuse Any Survival Patterns for chemistry. So, if you come across a woman who has all these qualities, that’s a Very clear indication that you should take Take care of her and you should keep her in yours Life.
What This Means for You?
Now, what does this mean for you? sheath? Now, if you are constantly being Overlook by a Woman, This is Not a Sign that you are doing anything wrong. you can Overstep Your Boundaries and You Can’t Make Someone Falls in Love with You, If They Do Not Understand your own value.
At the same time, You also need to stop indulging in anyone People Pleasing Habits Because You Also Need To Recognize That Your Worth Is Not Up For Sale. And the biggest thing most of you guys Need to learn is actually to fall in love with Someone who shows the same kind of love for you. And not to chase after someone who is not Available to you. The moment you start Implementing this in your life. This is where you will start bringing in peace into Your romantic relationships.
Trauma vs Conscious Woman
Now, the Seventh The thing I actually want to talk about is How can you identify a woman who has Traumas vs. a Woman Who Is Conscious And who has done the inner work.
So, the few Science That She Actually Has Traumas That She need to work on is she pulls away when the The Relationship or the Connection Starts Getting Stronger. She Is Someone Who Brings in More Chaos into your life and not work. She is someone who can’t actually navigate a Conflict properly. And she often needs You have to prove your worth to her. She’s kind of Makes you work for her in a way. And you Kind of Associate Love with Something That Needs to be earned. So, you even end up putting in that Work. She is someone who basically sees Consistency is something that is boring and She often chases the highs and disappears when There is loss.
Now, some sign of a conscious Woman is she does not chase emotional highs and Loz. She Knows How to Communicate Clearly What She Needs Where She Stands in the Relationship. She Is Able to Receive Whatever You want to give her even your love without anyone Kind of Fear or Suspicion. She Has Clear Boundaries and She Even Respects You Boundaries as a man as well. So, the more heel You are a man, it’s natural for you to Actually Attract a Woman Into Your Life Who is healed as well.
My Final Message
Now, if you want to Work with Me in Order to Heal Your Trauma and Attachment Issues, You Can Reach Out to Me Through the Comment section. So, to wrap this up Up, I want to set women who chase the bad Boys are not shallow or they are not They have a lot of inner work to do. need to do. they have a lot of chrome need to work through.
And it’s because of the Lack of it. They are getting attracted to People Who Are Not Good For Them. At the End of The Day These Women Are Also Human beings. They are also craving love and they Do Not Know How to Receive Love in a Healthy Manner They. So, it doesn’t make anyone a bad person. In fact, they are just responding to Emotional Pain That They Have and Understood Fully by themselves, but it is not yours Role as a Person to Actually Go Into the Loop of fixing educating everywhere.
One thing I can you tell if a woman needs to come to this Conclusion by Herself That She Is Not Dealing With People Who Love Bomb Everywhere She Is Not Dealing With People Who Are Being Inconsistent with her. It’s the decision that She Makes for Herself Were the Shift It actually happens within her. You can’t be The Fixer and You Can’t Try to Save Someone from their own misery. So kindly do Not taking up any relationship as a project That you need to work on.
So I hope this article Was Helpful and It Was Insightful For you. If you want to ask anything about traumas, self worth, confidence etc, feel free to ask in the comment section. If you want to get coached by me, you may contact me through the email given in the contact us page. So that’s all for today’s article guys, I will see you in the next article soon. Thank you!