Have you ever felt that sense of anxiety in a relationship? That sudden sickness that you feel in your stomach where your body is telling you that something is not right? Something feels very off and then there’s a sudden distance from the person that you are in a connection with and nothing is going the way it actually should.
If you’ve been in a situation where things felt wrong, you felt anxious and there is something that you couldn’t prove in that situation, then this article is for you. Because at the end of the day, all forms of anxiety is not just coming from your trauma. Sometimes it’s your intuition talking to you. Sometimes it’s your body actually signaling it to you that something feels off. Your body is basically picking up the truth before your mind can actually understand what is happening. So if you have ever felt this, let’s unpack what your anxiety is probably telling you about your relationship.
You Are Not Imagining Things
The first thing I want you all to understand is you are not imagining things. You are probably just sensing something. And I want you all to learn to trust your body. Now I personally have had both kind of attachments. Early on in my life I had an avoidant attachment and later on in my life I had an anxious attachment.
So when it comes to anxiety itself, right, that’s your body’s way of telling you that something here doesn’t feel safe. Now anxiety is something that you develop in your childhood when you were stuck in environments let’s say at your home with your parents where something felt terribly unsafe for you as a child.
Think of it this way when you are perfectly happy. You don’t feel anxiety right? You feel anxiety when the environment shifts when there is something going wrong in your surrounding. And that is where your body kind of is more sensitive towards picking up that kind of danger and predicting that danger early on. So not all forms of anxiety is actually bad. You can even reframe to think of anxiety as something that is kind of your superpower to tell you that hey something might be off in this certain situation.
Anxious and Avoidant Attachment DynamicsÂ
Now if you are someone who has an anxious attachment, you would naturally get attracted to someone who has an avoidant attachment. And people with avoidant attachment, they are very disconnected from their emotions altogether. So they don’t know how to hold space for their emotions and they do a little bit of hot and cold because they fear intimacy.
They fear vulnerability and they usually keep people at an arms distance because they kind of like their independence and they don’t want that to go away in a relationship.
So the reason you’re feeling anxious is probably because that person is actually not the right person for you. The combination of someone who has an anxious attachment and an avoidant attachment is volcanic to both the people. It’s very bad actually for both person to be in that kind of a dynamic and both have to work on healing it.
Anxiety Is a Signal
I want you all to think of anxiety as something that is signaling to you that this connection is not safe. It’s not that you are crazy or it’s not that you’re losing your mind. there is something in your environment in that connection that is causing a deep sense of discomfort in your body. And what if you actually start honoring that feeling? What if you start honoring what you’re feeling instead of dismissing that anxiety and instead of trying to distract yourself?
And your superpower is your ability to actually read between the lines. Let’s say if a woman is saying, “I’m fine.” But if her actions doesn’t suggest the same thing, this is your body actually picking up the inconsistency that is coming through to you. That is also a reason why your anxiety is rising. So why not trust it instead of actually trying to make that anxiety of yours the bad person here?
Trauma vs Intuition
The second thing I want to tell you about is the difference between your trauma and your intuition. So trauma reacts, your intuition observes. So trauma actually makes you very reactive. So if you found yourself in a position where you’re constantly messaging that person, you’re reaching out to them, you’re calling them again and again and again and you’re spiraling. You can’t sit still. That is you having a trauma response.
Whereas intuition doesn’t react. Intuition knows like you know deep inside you that there is something wrong. There is something that’s not going right in the connection and it’s valid for you to feel this anxiety. So intuition is calm whereas trauma is very reactive. So there is two question that you can ask yourself. Am I reacting from a place of my old wounds or am I getting an intuitive download that my mind is not ready to accept but my body is fighting hard to tell me that it’s all in my head.
When You Ignore the Truth?
The third thing I want to tell you about is the pain that you’re feeling might actually be the truth that your mind is trying to hide and avoid.
Maybe you internally know that this connection is not meant to work out. Maybe your gut feeling is telling you that this person isn’t right for you. But you are actually fighting that intuition. This is where you enter a state of extreme anxiety and you start panicking because you’re not listening to your own self. You are not listening to your body.
Sometimes anxiety isn’t caused by what isn’t happening. But sometimes anxiety is caused because you are pretending that something that is happening is not actually happening.
Real Healing Starts With Self-Trust
The fourth thing I want to tell you about is that the real healing truly starts when you start trusting yourself.
This happens when you go back into your childhood. You face your wounds. You find the root cause of this hypersensitivity and anxiety and you firstly work on healing that and you form a relationship with yourself.
And when you do this you start trusting your own inner voice. In a way healing also means that you are not discrediting your own voice. You are believing in your intuition and you are not in a fight with it.
My Final Message
You do not need proof to validate your knowing. You do not need the permission to listen to your gut. You do not need to explain what your body feels.
You are not sensitive and you are not thinking too much. You’re just honoring yourself. And the men who actually trust their intuition are the men who stop chasing love because they don’t want confusion in their life. They want peace.
So I hope you start listening to your body and start honoring your own gut feeling going forward. If anything feels confusing, you may ask your doubts in the comment section. So thank you so much for reading this article till the end. I will see you guys in the next article. Thank you!